How To Deal With A Woman
by Inuki Moon
Summary: Miroku gives Inuyasha advice on how to deal with Kagome- shounen-ai.


Summary: Miroku gives Inuyasha advice on how to deal with an upset Kagome.

A/N: Heh heh.

**How to Deal (with a woman)**

"Inuyasha, sit!" Kagome's voice rang out, and less than a second later, everyone around heard the dog demon crash to the ground.

Miroku snickered to himself. _'When's he going to learn, I wonder?' _He thought to himself.

As usual, Inuyasha came stomping to where the monk sat shortly. He was growling under his breath, or at least trying to, but Miroku caught 'the hell' and 'does she'- Miroku guessed it would be his usual complaint- "What the hell's her problem? Who does she think she is?"

Inuyasha glared at Miroku, but sat down by him. In his head, Miroku counted down from ten, and as he assumed would happen, Inuyasha opened his mouth.

"What's her problem, Miroku? Why does she always have to boss me around? Damn her!"

The monk smiled, considering. Maybe he could have a little bit of fun with Inuyasha- who knew?

"Inuyasha, I'm going to give you pointers on how to deal with Kagome."

Inuyasha's ears perked up, and he looked considerably less grumpy. "Really? What do I have to do?"

Miroku inched over to Inuyasha, placing his hand on the dog's shoulder. "First, tell me what you were fighting about. That will help a lot." Help Miroku taunt Inuyasha, that is.

"Hmmph- she was trying to get me to slow down. Maybe she doesn't think Naraku's a big threat, but I do."

If anything, Miroku's smile grew. This should be easy.

"Okay, first thing you do is apologize." Inuyasha immediately snorted, but the monk overrode it. "You apologize, at which point she'll weaken, and you can hit her- or actually, you push her down."

"What?!"

Miroku nodded fervently. "Yeah, you push her down. Then you get next to her, like this." He leaned over Inuyasha, attempting to press him down onto the grass. Inuyasha, propped on his elbows, refused to let this happen….

Rubbing a sore head, Miroku mumbled, "That wasn't necessary."

"It was perfectly necessary. Anyhow, what do I do next?"

Miroku stopped rubbing his forehead and looked at Inuyasha with a growing smirk. "If I didn't know better, Inuyasha, I'd think you were enjoying this."

Reddening, Inuyasha spluttered, "No! I just want to know how to deal with that wench."

"Hmm. Anyhow, you look deep into her eyes,"- violet eyes into golden- "and you say, 'Sorry for everything I've done. Forgive me?'"

"Didn't I already apologize? Why do I have to do it again?"

"Because chicks love it."

"Oh…okay…."

"After you say that, you lean over, and give her a big kiss- like this!"

Miroku positioned himself over Inuyasha, so he was placed in between the dog demon's legs, elbows propped on either side of his head. Lowering his lips to Inuyasha's, he kissed him softly but deeply.

Inuyasha's eyes first widened, then closed as he began to kiss the monk back. Encouraged, Miroku's hands wound themselves in Inuyasha's long silvery hair, entwining them together.

Then, as suddenly as it started, Inuyasha remembered himself –and who he was snogging- and pushed the monk off, wincing as Miroku's hands tore through his hair. "Get off me, you pervert!" He growled.

Wiping his lips with the back of his hand, Miroku chuckled. He didn't mind kissing anything that moved and breathed, so it was rather enjoyable for him. And judging from the sounds Inuyasha was making, he didn't mind that much other. His suspicions were confirmed when the demon hesitantly said, "But..uh..I don't think I got the kiss down right."

"Always glad to help, Inuyasha." Miroku slid back into his position, but now Inuyasha's clawed hands locked together on the back of his neck, holding their lips together.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome's voice.

"Miroku!" Sango, there.

Inuyasha's hands jumped apart, and he attempted to push Miroku away, making it look like the monk pounced on him.

Neither Miroku nor the girls bought it, as Miroku got up on his own accord. Inuyasha was spluttering, "Listen, Kagome, I can explain!"

"Mm-hmm." Kagome said, staring at him.

Laughing again, Miroku patted Inuyasha on the shoulder as the demon got up, red-faced. "Good luck, tiger!"

"You bastard!"

A/N: Neh, go figure.


End file.
